Can you please…

At a point in time, we’ve all desired and craved affirmations.

Affirmations from our friends, affirmations from those whom we have placed in higher positions, those who by our gauge and moral standards have been placed above us, we have craved affirmations from the society, we crave and desire that the society takes us in the way we see our self, we crave the voice of the society in measuring our standard of growth and development, we crave the voice and opinions of the society in other for us to have the sense and feeling of making impact, change and transformation in the world that we no longer do things with the right motive, but with the desire to be seen, affirmed and applauded by the society, all because we have been so sucked up by the desires and craving for affirmations.

One affirmation or rather affirmative response that we so much desire and crave is parental affirmation; now as much as we so desire affirmation from society, we also desire parental affirmation. Most times the search for parental affirmation takes us down the road of self-hate, low self-esteem and the thought of incapability. As much as many may want to deny the fact that they crave affirmations from their parents, observation shows that many children/youths fall into a space of depression and non-performance academically due to the lack of support and encouragement from their parents, there is a desire to be heard.

I know a friend who was doing pretty well academically, at least one can say for such a tough/ kind of complex academic system operated in Nigeria she was doing pretty great however, she was found drowning in depression; now this is not from the place or desire to perform better, rather this depression was coming from a place of self-hate; a place of I am too average; a place of I can’t do it, I am not just cut out for this, a place of dejection; her depression sprung out of the place of want and desire for affirmation by her parents, yes she strongly desired to improve however in her strive for improvement, she hoped and desired that she gets word of encouragement from her parents, words of affirmation such as “oh my darling you are doing well just keep pushing”, or like “you tried and you are at the top of this however I know you can do better all you need to do is stay focused and you would get the hang of it”, she wanted to be heard, it did not have to be the sound of her voice, she also needed them to hear her through her emotions and efforts; she desired these words and more.

I know some of you are like “wahala for who cares o”, “wahala for the person finding affirmation”, “wahala for the person that doesn’t support me”; however, the truth is behind those words are pained hearts who at certain times in their lives craved affirmations from either their friends, siblings, those they’ve held in high esteem and most importantly their parents; you doubt what I am saying? Why not pause a little, take a deep breath and let these words sink in, then think of that one time… you see I was right, I am not here to blame you because in the society we live in now, we tend to desire someone to make us feel safe and okay, someone to tell us to go ahead you are hitting the right bars, someone to say I see you and I am rooting for you, someone to say that’s my girl making waves just like I want her to and it’s okay, I have also desired affirmations in certain areas of life; but guess what we already have that one person to give us the right affirmations that we need, just that we don’t pay attention to him nor his words of affirmation; we have Jesus.

You see, when we listen to God’s words of affirmation, we are not just changed but we begin to see him (GOD), in the bible, there are not just words of encouragement but are also words of growth, transformational healing words, words of comforts (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4) we are comforted in every tribulation, do you feel not enough? Well in 2nd Corinthians 3:5, he makes us understand how that we are quite a lot to handle by our own selves and well we might keep feeling/having this sense of insufficiency. However, our sufficiency is not from us, it’s from him (God), you desire to be heard? The Lord hears you; you just don’t believe it because you see him as one very strong-faced man who doesn’t want to speak to you, he just wants you to talk and go; forgetting that our relationship with God is not one-sided, but we make it a one-sided relationship. Haven’t you heard or read in the book of Jeremiah 29:12 where he says when we call on him and come to pray to him, he would listen?

The world makes you think you do not matter and you sit down drowning in sorrow forgetting that you actually matter to God, if you didn’t matter why then would he say in Isaiah 43:1 that you are precious in his sight and that he loves you ( you don’t call someone who doesn’t matter “precious” you know), the world has made you feel alone and you succumb to its thrash, where then did you put the guidance of the Lord ( Isaiah 58:11) or his promise of being your everlasting light ( Isaiah 60: 20). I can go on and on telling you about how much God cares about you, you matter to him like a whole lot, guess what he always wants to hear about your day, your struggles, your pain, your joy, all that is going on with you.  Why not talk to him and let him speak back, it’s not a monologue, it is a dialogue; it’s a friendship, it is a conversation between a father and his Child, a mother and her child etc. there is no way to speak to God better than with a sincere heart and no mincing of words. So, as you read this today why not give it a trial? I know you desire affirmation even with all your guards up… there is someone who is not only ready to give you an affirmation, but he is also ready to heal you of every wound, cleanse you of every sin and give you peace that surpasses human understanding. His name is Jesus and he is for all and he loves you boo, yes you.